| Well I haven't written anything in this in over a month, whoa. I have been pretty busy with school and work and all, haven't sat down and really wrote anything in here. I have primarily been using MySpace to get some thoughts down, usually stuff relating to my DJ hobby and my creative writing and philosophy and psychology intersts. Anyways, I am just sitting here on new years, not doing much, just relaxing. I guess I wasn't invited to any parties, but thats okay. I mean i'm not a huge partier anyways. Just sitting at home and drinking Smirnoffs with my parents is fine with me.
For the new year, I'm looking to accomplish many things. First off I want to get some really nice studio monitors I can use to mix with, whether that is mixing with my CDJs, or mixing stuff as in producing my own music. Thats my goal for next year, to get some nice software and a MIDI keyboard and 1GB of ram for my desktop replacement notebook and get to work on producing some nice, melodic ambient music, similar to Ulrich Schnauss. I really admire his work, it's very addicting, in that it hypnotizes you with melodies that are so catchy, but at the same time, not over done. It's very ethereal, and is like a less dance based Enigma or Royksopp in a way. Really beautiful stuff i'de say. This year I am also looking to meet someone. Something inside of me just says "this semester will be the semester I meet the girl of my dreams". Okay maybe not the "girl of my dreams" as in the girl i'm going to marry, but hey you never know. I mean it's just this feeling like something is going to happen soon. Sure i've had this feeling before, but lately it's like "wait a minute..." like I am so close to finding her. This next year I am also looking to get a 3.5 GPA, which is easy considering I have a 3.3 right now and I just need to do really well next semester in order to get a 3.5 GPA. Other than that, just get a demo out to some clubs and continue collecting MP3s and eventually afford some WAV files and get mixing! | comments: Leave a comment   |
| Okay, last week was a bit of an up or down week. I mean things went on with my family, like with my sister who is incredibly hard to live with even though she doesn't live with us anymore. I felt lonely I guess, bored, for a few days. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's, I dunno...I think we all go through up and down days. Life does not flow in a straight line. But lately i've been doing better. Spanish sucks and I know i'll probably get a "D" in the class, but I know that I will retake it and work harder and not take two four credit classes in one semester, especially one like spanish. I'll also take one with a different professor, because this lady has been terrible and she makes me feel stupid.
Well one of my highlights from last week was that I met a girl i've been talking to online that goes to my school. We met last wednesday at borders and we then moved to McDonalds when they were about to close. We talked mostly about life..school...work...the usual. I was a bit nervous but I know as we continue to hang out i'll get looser. But she was an amazing person i've got to say and I am looking forward to seeing her again soon. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Carrie Skipper - Time Goes By (Super 8 Deep Mix) | | Security: | | | Subject: | Lost In a Maze | | Time: | 01:49 am | | Current Mood: |  lonely |
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| | Yeah, sometimes I feel lost in a maze. It seems hard to get out. I feel content with myself, at peace at times, yet still missing something. It's like life is revolving around me, and I am merely existing in it, dreaming, thinking, believing and praying, for some way to find the missing piece. It's late and I don't feel like getting too deep into this, but sometimes I feel like i'm getting closer to finding my girl, other times I just feel she's all up in my head. I really don't know where she is at, or if i'll find her, but it just sinks in, that feeling of loneliness... | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | JPL & Peak - Memories Of You | | Security: | | | Subject: | Post from yesterday | | Time: | 03:57 am | | Current Mood: |  hopeful |
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| | Maybe that post did sound desperate, I dunno. I think i'm just at that point where I am content with most of the things about myself other than the fact that I haven't found someone who I can be with. Sure it may not be that important but everyone wants someone sometime haha. I mean I'm pretty content with just hanging around myself, but it would be really good if I had just one, really trusting and loving person (a girl) who I can talk to about anything. Yeah that would be nice.....I kind of miss high school, even though it's been two years, at least then I had more people to talk with on a regular basis about stuff, but things will get better once I get to OU and start getting involved with stuff and living out of my parents house and possibly getting a DJing gig at some club over there like Tonic, Seven or Clutch Cargos. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Kaskade - It's You, It's Me (More Vox Mix) | | Security: | | | Subject: | Hopeless Romantic (Me) | | Time: | 01:27 am | | Current Mood: | hopeful |
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| | I'm a hopeless romantic in search of someone who will not judge me, not lie to me, someone who is honest and trustworthy and kind. I dunno if she's out there, I just sit here...typing, dreaming, believing, but not seeing. I haven't been on a date in years, let alone truly felt a close connection to someone. I get down on myself, feeling worthless, hopeless and feeling like I am just existing in this world, without a true feeling of love. In many ways, my world exists in my head, made up. My reality is a fictionalized world of beauty, of images, of feelings and emotions, bottled up inside of me, inching to find someone who will listen to me, someone who will love me and allow me to love her and show her a glimpse of my world. Again, I don't know if she's out there, I just hope and pray that someday i'll find her and be happy. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | David West - Larry Mountains 54 (Original Mix) (Hell yeah!) | | Security: | | | Subject: | Haven't posted in a while... | | Time: | 01:15 am | | Current Mood: | content |
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| Wow I haven't posted anything in two months! Well i've just been busy with school and work and studying and mixing and dreaming and all that other great stuff. Almost done with this semester...like 5 weeks left after this week and CHRISTMAS! which is the best holiday. Can't wait. I have a really good mix I made last week that hopefully will be put on "BeatMixing.com" soon. I made it through MixMeister. I had a good mix going last night on my CDJs but I thought it stopped recording cause the sound wave graph was stuck but after I converted the set to an MP3 it was still running, so I only got in two and half songs mixed together, hopefully if I have time I will work at it again. I was off a beat on the first mix anyways, going from "Western High" by Derek Howell into
"Larry Mountains 54 (Inkfish Remix)" by David West ft. Andreas Hermansson. It just takes lots of practice to get it exactly on the beat. At least you can correct those kinds of things without starting all over on MixMeister and Ableton Live, which i'll hopefully have by next year. Thats all for now, gotta get to studying and i might work today. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Ahmet Ertenu - Why (Original Mix) | | Security: | | | Subject: | Long time | | Time: | 04:23 pm | | Current Mood: | disappointed |
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| | Wow it's been over a month and I haven't written anything in this. Well school is going okay, i'm kind of struggling in math and spanish. I'm trying to concentrate on those classes, neglecting my other two (philosophy and psychology of organization). I have thus far found no girls that I absolutely like. One girl named Heather is beginning to be a good friend, I'll prolly get her screen name so we can chat. She has a bf so a relationship is out of the question with her. On the other hand, there was this other girl I was starting to think "could she be the one?" well..it turns out that this girl has a boyfriend too. I had called her on wednesday night to see if she wanted to study with me on thursday for spanish. I was going to ask her to study again so I could get to know her and ask her to the movies. I was under the impression when she told me Wednesday night that she had moved here from up north, that she moved here with her parents and was living with them. Well, it turns out she lives in an apartment with her boyfriend. When she told me that today I was thinking "what??", I couldn't believe it. But well...you can't always get what you want. I'm glad I found that out so I didn't persue the date thing any further. Now I just have to feel sorry for myself and hope and pray that I'll find her someday, but so far in all of my classes..there is no girls that I can say are "the one", as in the one who will be my girlfriend (no not my wife, all I want is a nice REAL girlfriend). Thats all....I've hardly mixed lately and I'm really wanting to save up for a soundcard so I guess I need to hold off on the MP3s for a while (yet I need them to build up my collection). | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Above & Beyond & Andy Moor - Air For Life (Original Mix) | | Security: | | | Time: | 11:37 pm | | Current Mood: | hopeful |
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| | Tired...nothing besides work has been happening lately. I want to spend more time trying to go to the mall, doing things, just to get out and hopefully meet people. I just work all the time and talk to the same ladies at work, none other than Michaela who is leaving in a week...is my age. I feel kind of bad that I didn't get to know Michaela better, but I guess she just wasn't too interested in me. I'm different...i'll admit it. I think differently, although there is people out there I am sure that think like me. I am into some different things as well. I just hope that I will meet someone once school starts in two weeks, because I am so lonely. Not many people besides Sara..have been genuinely interested in me since i've been in college. I mean Sara did last a little while..4 months, but it was nothing romantic. Inovertently I scared her...and I don't want to do this with another girl. I just feel as if I'm just floating along in life, and not truly happy, with anyone. It's not really friends I want anymore, it's just a few loyal and honest people. Sure I have them at work but they are just my co-workers, not people I associate with outside of work. Like I said they aren't my age anyways...egh I see girls at the mall, but I never feel as if I can just talk to them. The biggest things is age, because I never know how old girls are now that I'm 20. They could be 14, they could be 30, both ages that are too young or too old for me. I am just looking for a sweet, honest, caring and fun girl, around the ages of 17 to 24, who will accept me for me and just let me be myself for a change, not anyone I would have to change myself for or have to please. Someone who is down to earth, and has an inquisitive mind just like I do. It would be nice if she were cute with her looks and personality as well, as I don't mean to sound shallow, but I prefer girls who take care of themselves, are somewhat concerned about their looks, and are upbeat and even a little perky :). | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Leon Boiler pres. Inner Stories - Beyond (Original Mix) | | Security: | | | Subject: | Good day | | Time: | 10:31 pm | | Current Mood: | happy |
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| Well today was a fine day. It was Veronica, my store manager's last day. It is sad that she left but I know she is happy that she only has to work 5 minutes away rather than 40 minutes away. She was such a sweetheart, and she really made the store what it is today. She was definitely a hard worker. I gave her a card and a gift certificate to borders to show her my appreciation for all that she has done at Pier 1. She was after all the person who hired me, so I thank her for that as well.
After work I met Kristin. She was a girl I have known for a few years but never kept in touch with, until now. She has really grown...and is older now..17 and will be a senior. People are getting so old, and so am I, but I still look like a 16 year old, as noted when a women at church on Sunday thought I was a 16 year old after she commented on how good of a reader I was. I am looking forward to calling her this weekend, and possibly I could do something with her in the next week or so. She's a very nice girl. I'm sure there will be no problem with a 17 year old hanging out with a 20 year old, like myself. Anyways thats all for now...oh and I should be getting my CDJ 1000 MK2s in a week or so. I'll be mixing again! yay! :) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Okay so I decided against the CDJ 800 for a few resons. One they are not accurate enough when it comes to mixing, so it would bug me to have to constantly adjust my tunes so they mix together. They have 0.05 pitch resolution, so thats not as accurate as the CDJ 1000's 0.02. This is ideal for making long mixing, especially when mixing deeper, longer progressive music that I am more into now. I'de say it would take me about a month or two to have enough money saved for it, but if I quite eating out as much as I used to and save money, I should be okay. They cost approximately $1,100 each! They also have a wave display, which helps knowing where my cues are, and also have CD Text, so I know what tunes I'm playing easier. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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